I always had a hunger for knowing God, and an understanding of the need for His protection. But, it wasn't until I was 12 years old that I realized God desired me to have a personal relationship with Him through His son, Jesus. It was in my home in Weatherford, Oklahoma one Sunday morning, that I sensed a quiet knock on the door of my heart. I knew it was Jesus saying, "Carla, open up and let Me come in to dine with you, and you with Me. I want to have a personal relationship with you that is eternal, one that will last forever." Writing these words bring tears to my eyes and a humbleness to my heart, that He loved me enough to seek me personally.
From that moment on, God placed a number of people in my life to direct me into a more intimate walk with Jesus. As a Christian teenager, I went through some difficult life experiences which God used not only to deepen my relationship with Him, but to mold me into the young woman He wanted me to become. My life progressed, and when I was 21 years old I married my high school sweetheart, Fred McDougal.
Life rolled along beautifully for us, and two years later, we were blessed with the birth of our first child, a son, whom we named Luke. We were the image of the sweet All-American family. Then...BOOM! In the next six years, three more babies, Jake, Tate and Carly, came along, and our home was filled with tender love, kisses, two-year-old trantrums, all kinds and sizes of diapers, large grocery bills and countless humorous experiences. As time went on, stress and exhaustion took root deep within me. No one, not even my husband, knew what was happening to me physically, mentally, spiritually, and physiologically. I believed that because I was a Christian, I couldn't let anyone see that I had problems; and I was rapidly falling into a deep, dark depression. Have you ever put on a mask first thing in the morning to disguise how you really feel? When I finally realized my mask was always in place, all I could say was, "God Help!" Immediately the Lord reminded me of a verse I memorized as a child.
"Do not fear for I am with you, do not be afraid for I am your God. I will strengthen you
and uphold you with my righteous right-hand." Isaiah 41:10
I am so thankful we can trust God's timing to be perfect. He is never too late. Yes, through His grace and mercy I came out of that darkness. Because of His provision and some medical assistance, I can look at those experiences 12 years later, and thank God for them, for through them He taught me to trust Him. I realized that "Life is not about me, but all about Him." My past creates a yearning to seek a deeper walk with Jesus everyday. I am humbled every time I am reminded of God's love for me during those difficult times. "I love you, Lord, and I am ready to serve you until the day that you take me to be with You in heaven." AMEN!!
From My Heart to Yours,
Carla
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Carla McDougal
Founder & Speaker for RLM
Reflective Life Ministries
